A few years ago my wife wrote a blog post about how loving me is keen to climbing a treacherous mountain.  No offense was taken, because let’s be honest…I’m not always perfect.  I’m sure there are couples around the world today celebrating their love through various Valentine-type ways; but today I’d like to reflect on both what has been, and what will be.  I’ve been married almost 14 years to the girlfriend I had in High School.  We’ve lived in different states, different town, and many, many different houses.  We’re raising 3 of our children, and often take in additional foster kids just to “spice it up” a little.

When I look at our marriage, I think of it as the marks on the wall that track your kids height.  Years ago we were a mark way down at the floor, but through time and effort; we’ve slowly moved that mark up the wall.  The thing is that the higher we get up the wall, the larger the wall becomes!  But I know I have a lifetime to grow, expand, and learn to serve my wife more.

It’s in the spirit of that growing love that I dedicate one of the most famous poems ever written….

Sonnets from the Portuguese, XLIII || (From Robert Browning to Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right,

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith;

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, – I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! – and if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

I’m one of those people that is always quick to an answer a question.  I’ve often assumed that my answers are the ones everyone will like…call it pride if you want.  Over the years I’ve become slower and slower to answer a question that may be out there in the organization (or church.)  I’ve learned that most of my learning comes from listening first.  I’m continuing to learn that keeping my mouth shut for at least a little while, helps me articulate the right answer.  And there is the added bonus of listening being a prerequisite of love.

How great is that quote?  And as if that isn’t great enough, the Bible talks about this slow and fast things as well…

James 1:19 || “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”

All week I’ve been participating in a special look at what the Orange Conference could mean for those of us ministering to the Next Generation.  This year there are some special things Orange is doing to reach out to those working in Youth and Children’s Ministry.

We are thrilled to present TWO specialty tracks sponsored by Youth Specialties and International Network of Children’s Ministries! Our friends in ministry will be providing the speakers and content, so you are sure to hear a favorite from one of their conferences and some great content. We are proud to present these to anyone wishing for a two-conference-in-one experience.

As a great fan of both INCM (the host of CPC), and Youth Specialties; I love the reach that Orange is attempting to make for all of us working on the local church level.  So, what are you waiting for?  Visit www.theorangeconference.com today and register now!

My name is Jonathan, and I’m a conference junkie.  It’s true.  It’s also true that I don’t pick sides in these debates about which conference is better than another.  I believe that conferences and the things we hear when we attend are all just different parts of the same conversation.  I attend many of them to speak into the conversation that is happening, and to listen.

In April, I’ll be at The Orange Conference.  I’ll be there to see old friends, meet new friends, and continue the conversations I’ve started since 2008.  However, the thing I’m most hoping to learn in Atlanta on April 25-27 is how to lead my team more effectively.  I’ve transitioned over the years into a role of leading some great leaders to children, students, and college-age people; and getting better at leading them is my #1 goal for 2012.

There are too many rich breakouts to list here on one blog post, but I’m looking forward to making Orange 2012 the conference that helps me grow as a leader of leaders.  Take the time to investigate this thing called The Orange Conference, and see if it’s something that will help you as a leader as well!

Where will you go to find new ideas to reach a new world and the old?

www.TheOrangeConference.org

The Orange Conference is continuing registration this week, and it’s a place you want to be if you work with families and those students and children those families love so much.  It’s been well documented over the years, that I absolutely love my Orange experience each April.  I’ve attended every Orange Conference since 2008, and I’ve gone solo once, with one friend once, with my boss once, and last year attended with most of my ministry team.  Each time I’ve been a part of Orange, I’ve come away a better leader and more excited about my future at Trinity Church.

It was at the Orange Conference that our church grabbed a vision for ministering to the family as a whole, and it was at the Orange Conference that I caught an idea about what our church could do in the community of Lubbock on a grander scale.  I absolutely believe that if you make the effort to be a part of what’s happening in Atlanta on April 25-27; then you can be a better leader and a better minister to the families in your church.  Take the time today to visit http://www.whatisorange.org/orangeconference/story/ and see what all the details are.

The first step is to want something unique for your life and your church, and that first step is to find out all you can.  Make it happen!

 Think Orange: Imagine the Impact When Church and Family Collide… by Reggie Joiner

Parenting Beyond Your Capacity: Connect Your Family to a Wider Community by Reggie Joiner and Carey  Nieuwhof

More Lost Than Found: Finding a Way Back to Faith by Jared Herd

This week you will see and hear all kinds of talk in the Greater Kidmin and Stumin blogosphere about The Orange Conference.

Orange Bloggers:

Amy Fenton Lee: www.TheInclusiveChurch.com

Wayne Stocks: http://WayneStocks.com and http://Kidmin1124.com

Cass Brannan: www.CassBrannan.wordpress.com

Michael Bayne: http://www.MichaelBayne.net/

Jenny Funderburke: http://JennyFunderburke.com

Tom Pounder: http://www.MinistryBlackboard.com

Henry Zonio: http://KidminAndCulture.com

Nick Blevins: www.NickBlevins.com

Amy Dolan: www.LemonLimeKids.com

Steve Cullum: www.SteveCullum.com

Ben Read: www.IntentionalStudentMinistry.com

Kenny Conley: www.ChildrensMinistryOnline.com

RyanMillard: www.RyanMillard.com

Dustin Valencia: www.AbrahamChronicles.com

Paul Mannino: www.OrangeDad.com

Jeremy Lee: www.WonderfullyAwkward.com

As you read all that’s happening, follow all the tweets, catchup on all the back and forth; you should also take some time to get something FREE.

By simply filling out the Giveaway Application below you will be entered to win one of these three awesome books!

 Think Orange: Imagine the Impact When Church and Family Collide… by Reggie Joiner

Parenting Beyond Your Capacity: Connect Your Family to a Wider Community by Reggie Joiner and Carey  Nieuwhof

More Lost Than Found: Finding a Way Back to Faith by Jared Herd

I believe the real horror of Nursery Ministry is when leaders fail to teach to the level of learning of their kids.  When we start to define success for our leaders, set realistic expectations, get to know our kids, and submit our needs to prayer we can begin to lead in new and creative ways.  I’ve found the following materials as it relates to development of kids and I’d like to share!

What should I expect both developmentally and spiritually?  

Speaking directly about those kids between four years old and six, I’ve found the following information.

Developmentally // Three to Six

Spiritually

Three to Seven Years // Experiencing Faith

Children typically act with “experienced faith.” Children respond to actions of parents and adults, while learning to initiate their own actions. They explore and test, imagine and create, observe and copy, experience and react.

Ministry Implications:

• Continue activities begun in infancy, but with increasing involvement of the children.
• Add to reading and playing, Bible stories with exciting narration, and encourage active use of the imagination on the part of the children.
• Involve the children in creative telling and dramatizing of Bible stories.
• Encourage children to ask questions about the Bible reading, and imagine what Biblical characters might say if they could be there.
• Provide a worship readiness opportunity to help children understand what it means to worship and why the church participates in the various aspects of the worship service.

I believe the real horror of Nursery Ministry is when leaders fail to teach to the level of learning of their kids.  When we start to define success for our leaders, set realistic expectations, get to know our kids, and submit our needs to prayer we can begin to lead in new and creative ways.  I’ve found the following materials as it relates to development of kids and I’d like to share!

What should I expect both developmentally and spiritually?  

Speaking directly about those kids between one years old and three, I’ve found the following information.

Developmentally // One – Three

Spiritually

Infancy – 3 Years // Sensing Security

The greatest need is to feel that the world is a safe place and that the people in it are dependable.  The sense of security and trust usually comes from the family and provides a foundation for children to trust God.  The primary learning tool is mimicking.

Ministry Implications:

• Talk, Read, play, sing, and pray with children
• Involve children in activities with other children and adults.
• Begin family faith traditions and holiday rituals.
• Provide parenting classes and support groups for parents
• Baby Dedications or baptism ceremonies.

One of the very first steps to setting up our Early Childhood environments for a win is to set realistic expectations.  I’m talking about expectations that set us up to win and to keep on winning and keep on winning and keep on winning.  The issue is that these wins have to be defined by each leader on a unique level, and have to be defined for each church based on the win for that body of Christ in that location.

I’ve defined 3 “Next Steps” for helping us define the win where we are.  These things have to be done for us to begin to attempt being successful for Nursery and Preschool children and their families.

1. Know Your Kids.  Really, really, really know the kids you teach and lead.  Do we know their families?  Do we know their siblings?  Do we know what could be happening in their lives away from church?

It’s a gigantic cop-out to say that our churches are too busy or too large to find these things out.  Each kid has a unique story, and if we take the time to find it out we can then take our ministry to a new level.

What does this look like? It looks like teachers praying for parents in the hallways, and fathers that don’t attend church coming for the first time.  It looks like teachers knowing the birthdays of their kids and kids celebrating the uniqueness of their teachers with gifts and hugs.   

 2. Learn what’s developmentally normal.  Take the time to make your leaders as educated as possible on age appropriateness.  There are books, blogs, and information galore on this topic.  Why not take the time to put it all out there when you do teacher training?  Why not add some notes and helpful hints along the way for your leaders?  Why not use these?

3. Pray.  Let me guess.  You forget this one sometimes, right?  Let the Holy Spirit lead, in spite of what your developmentally or cognitively know about your class.  The Lord desires to have your true leading from Him.  Make prayer a priority for your class and classroom leaders.

Acts 19:20 So the word of the Lord continued to increase and prevail mightily.

I’ve seen the real horror of Early Childhood and Nursery ministry.  It’s NOT the one person in a room of 20 kids under 18 months old all by themselves.  It’s NOT the parent that insist that we not call her out of service when her kid throws chairs across the classroom.  It’s NOT even the kid that comes to church and prays for Jesus to protect them from the crocodiles (whatever that means…)

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen happen, that you can laugh about now?

I’ve found that the real Horror Story happens when classroom leaders fail to teach up or down to the level of learning of their kids.  It’s a horrible tragedy when leaders of 4 year olds treat their class like 14 year olds and grow exasperated when they won’t sit down for her lecture.  It’s a tragedy when the 2 year old leader doesn’t take the time to illustrate biblical truths to her kids in an environment ripe for learning.

I’ve just about seen it all, but these above scenarios are what keep me up at night.  When these things happen the kids don’t absorb the truth of God’s Word like they are created to, and those leaders grow frustrated and anxious about the job they are failing at.  It’s time that us in the leadership of our churches begin to train, teach and lead in a way that sets everyone up for success.

1. First, we’ve got to set realistic expectations.  Don’t every place a leader in a room with an age of kids, without first explaining what that age of kid can and cannot do.  Not doing this is like throwing someone the keys to your stick shift car and expecting them to know how to drive without having every driven a stick shirt before.

2. Second, you’ve got to give your leaders the information.  Tell them what’s the what about the age of kids they have.

3.  Third, and finally; you’ve got to define the win for your Early Childhood leaders.  There may be no easier win in your entire Children’s Ministry, but also be the hardest to define.  Tell your leaders how they know they’ve done the 4 year old class right.

Proverbs 2:6  For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding

Let’s talk about making that real lasting investment in our communities, and making it outside of our church.  (Catch-up with the introduction HERE.)  I love MY church, THE church, and the calling of the church.  However, sincerely believing that doesn’t mean that the Church Can Do Everything, and it Helps to Make our Message Real.  The other great side-effect of serving in an uncomfortable place is it Forces us as Leaders to Grow.

When we take ourselves of the comfort our churches afford us, we begin to see all kinds of discipleship happen in our own lives.  I know what your thinking… “Where are you getting this churches lead to comfort talk?”

I believe that when all our interaction with people is within the confines of our Christian environments, that we become separate from the real lives of so many around us.  We actually begin to exists in environments we can explicitly control, and when we control the environment of our interactions we can easily grow comfortable.  When we step outside of those things we can control, then we are forced to be hands and feet for a gospel message to those that need it the most.

It’s time that we make personal growth and discipleship a priority, and just as we encourage people to serve in our areas of ministry; we need to back it up with our own service in their lives.  Don’t believe the myth that all your personal growth will happen within the context of your local church.  You can and will grow as a leader and a believer by taking the reality of the gospel outside your church walls and into your community.

Let’s talk about making that real lasting investment in our communities, and making it outside of our church.  (Catch-up with the introduction HERE.)  I love MY church, THE church, and the calling of the church.  However, sincerely believing that doesn’t mean that the Church Can Do Everything, and it doesn’t end there.  One of the most important benefits to us as leaders to serve outside of our churches, is it Helps to Make our Message Real.

This week we are talking about making that real lasting investment in our communities, and making it outside of our church.  (Catch-up with the introduction HERE.)  I love MY church, THE church, and the calling of the church.  However, sincerely believing that doesn’t mean that the Church Can Do Everything.

I believe that it was never the intention of the local church to replace individual outreach.  It’s not the church’s job to reach out to my next door neighbor, or coach my kids baseball team, or volunteer at the public school in my community, or share Christ with the hurting world I interact with everyday.  As Christians, it is our duty to bring life change to wherever we are living.

The purpose of the church is more of a launching pad.  There is no doubt that we can create some effective outreach from within the walls of our church community, and I’ve seen great churches make an impact in their communities as a whole.  But, isn’t church also to be the place that we launch people out into the world?  Isn’t the local church meant to encourage those in attendance to live a life that brings glory to God and therefore spread the Gospel the world over?

Those of us working in churches, are often the last ones to get this message.  We spend 50+ hours a week creating amazing experiences for the families that attend our church (and we should), but many of us spend rarely an hour a year investing in our community without our church name badge on.  Why?  This has got to change if we are truly to be leaders at taking the Gospel to a hurting world.

Let us force the community of believers we serve with to see Christianity as permeating our everyday life.  Let’s bring light to our hurting communities, and in the process bring the light to our own churches.  I’ve never once served in my community, and NOT seen my church get the attention in some way.

Many of us have personal passions that we are dreaming of fulfilling, and fell restricted by our local church.  Let this not be.  It’s my prayer that you find the solution to carry on the mission of your calling both inside your church walls and outside them as well.