We all want parents to stop grounding their kids from our church.  I’ve seen it for years, parents treating kids church attendance like the privilege of riding a bicycle or playing baseball.  It’s more important than that, but have we really sold parents on the value of all that you do?  Seriously ask yourself, are your areas really punishment?  Are you taking the time to confront this misperception in the minds of parents?

We can communicate the value of what we do by helping parents find creative solutions to discipline, and learning to step out with courage and respect to confront the problem head on. 

It’s on me.  It’s on you.

We Wish Parents Would __________.

Help Parents Be at Church

Making a Parents Time Count

We all want parents to be on time.  It’s hard on leaders everywhere to stop mid-way through a teaching segment to stand up and let the kid into your class for the last 20 minutes of your time together.  It’s hard in the middle of a fantastic storytelling moment in large group, and somebody has to get up and help the latecomer find his place.  Maybe your church has time cut-off limits, and good for you; but most of us don’t have the luxury.  To overcome this, you must begin to ask yourselves if you have done your very best to give them something to arrive on time for?  Does it matter if parents arrive on time?  Have you tweaked and adjusted your classroom settings to encourage early arrival?  Many times all it takes is to build the relationship aspects of our ministries into the very first few minutes; and that alone will get those kids cheerleading to their parents to be on time.

We can communicate the value of timeliness by building value into the earliest parts of the morning, and training teachers to lead through this arrival time. 

It’s on me.  It’s on you.

We Wish Parents Would __________.

Help Parents Be at Church

We all want parents to bring their kids to church, but have you done your very best to make your areas easy to find?  Would a kid really want to come to your Children’s ministries?  Is it easy for parents to get involved with your children’s ministries?  Physical location matters in your areas, as well as how easy it is to get into the area.  Is your visitor check-in quick, or is it a slow crawl?

We want parents to bring their kids to church, and we can communicate this value by creating spaces and environments that are both attractive to the family, but also adds upon each subsequent experience. 

We need to make it better.  It’s on me.  It’s on you.

Every time I attend a conference there are some guarantees that I know will happen.  First, I will probably run into someone I know at the airport, but can’t remember his or her name.  Second, I will eat more food in that one-week conference than I have in the month prior.  Lastly, and almost assured to happen is that I will commiserate on some level with people that share my burden for children and their families.  It’s not all bad, it’s just refreshing to be in a room with people that dread the Saturday night phone calls as much as I do!

Over their years, I’ve collected my long list of things that I wish parents would do to make my job easier.  When I share my list with other Children’s Ministry Leaders, I find a common pain in all of us. We wish parents would take their kids to church EVERY week.  We wish that parents would stop ARRIVING so LATE for the environments we’ve worked all week to prepare.  We wish that parents would STOP GROUNDING their kids from church when they get in trouble at school, especially in those pre-teen areas.  We wish that parents would take the time to TALK AT HOME about what their kids are learning at church.  You agree, right?  I’d dare to say that I’ve never met a Children’s worker that wouldn’t want to stand up and wave his Bible at that wish list.

However, at some point we have to begin to look at how easy we make it for parents to fulfill these wishes.  Remember the old saying, “While you’re pointing one finger at them, you’ve got 4 more pointing back at you!” (I never understood that as a kid, I mean can you really point with your thumb?)  It’s oh so true, isn’t it?  For me I have to start evaluating my own ministries and my own leadership to see if I’m truly making it as easy as possible for parents to connect with what I’m doing for their kids.  It’s on me. It’s on us.

This weeks giveaway is a great book by Brian Haynes. A few months back, I actually did a small interview with Brian; and you can really hear in this how his heart and burden are for the family and the parents that lead it!

Every path has a destination. Brian Haynes wants to take parents down the path of intentional spiritual parenting. The destination is a new generation of children emerging as adults who know how to love God and love people.

This new generation will also know how to equip their own children to do the same. The Legacy Path is a book meant to change the culture by moving our children and grandchildren toward life God s way instead of life portrayed as right in the eyes of the world. The reader will find many practical steps explained allowing the destination to be reached.

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I had a blast this week hanging out with my friends from David C. Cook and churches all around the country. Some using the TRU Curriculum and some that aren’t; but all of us dedicated to finding Holy Spirit led ways of reaching a new generation of kids and families.

Here is a general list of takeaways from this unique and intimate Gathering of Family Ministry leaders:

• I’ve been challenged like never before to build sacred spaces into our worship experiences. Creating spaces for families and children to worship together.
• Too often I’ve been guilty of “teaching kids about the Holy Spirit” when I should have been allowing “the Holy Spirit to be the teacher.”
• I’ve been so impressed with the staff, volunteers, and vision of ROCKHARBOR church in Costa Mesa, CA. What a church.
• I really love the fact that the entire Gathering experience is unique, because we only had 400 people here. That few amount of people really makes it easy to connect with others.
• I really love Michelle Anthony’s heart for families and parents. She wears her passion well, and it’s contagious to hear her speak about Spiritual Parenting. You should really make the time to read her new book, Dreaming for More for the Next Generation.
• The conversations about Family, Parents, and Children’s Ministry has been really rich.
• I love the emphasis on telling our own personal God Story to each other. I’ve heard some amazing testimonies from some great churches and leaders.
• One minor detail about the Gathering that I really loved was the massive amounts of free time. How great it was that it didn’t start til after 9am, and many times they built large sections of time into the schedule for us to just have fun. More conferences should do this!

Thanks to all my friends that came up and said Hello, and to all those new friends that I expect to hear Hello from in the months ahead!

Some important links:

• David C. Cook
• Michelle Anthony
• TRU Curriculum

The Story in the Home, Church, and World

Dr. Jantz is the founder of a Counseling Center for families.

Addiction is just a symptom of pain. Helping individuals find healing first, is the priority. When the person finds healing, the addiction can be healed as well.

What is our role with hurting, broken families? We have to ask the Lord to give us discernment to know where we play the role in their life; while being careful to not get overly involved in their mess. Their problem is often times bigger than what we can handle. Direct families to the right people and help.

We have to be careful not to always direct people to US. That won’t help them.

Things to look for in broken people:

• Are there patterns that keep repeating in their life?
• What do they really need? Look closely.
• Anger, Fear, Guilt are 3 BIG things. Which one of these do we see (or feel)?

We have to be on guard that when we are helping others, that we don’t drain ourselves. We have to self-guard our lives. We have to have our own lives in order before we give ourselves to others.

New Book Discussion: The Stranger in Your House

A depressed teenager is an unpredictable teenager. The book is primarily for parents of teenagers, helping them manage.

A teens main job is to test boundaries. Do we have them? Boundaries on Technology are the most important ones to set now. We have to help our kids keep perspective in a world screaming for attention.

Examples of technology boundaries:

• No smartphones at school.
• Master Password that parents know and manage.
• Talk often about what’s appropriate.
• No texting in the morning; and no texting during the week.
• Strict on video games that are in the house.
• Family decided together what Tech Boundries will be.

Is there a common root cause of teenage depression? Does Church cause it?

• Inappropriate relationships, through school, friends, technology. As a church we need to promote healthy relationships.

DR. GREGG JANTZ

Dr. Gregg Jantz is the best-selling author of 21 books, including the newly released, The Stranger in Your House, a valuable resource for parents as they see beyond the closed-room years of adolescence and open the door to hope. He is the founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, and a nationally known speaker.
www.drgregoryjantz.comwww.aplaceofhope.com

7 Pillars of Family Ministry Philosophy
*Family Ministry for Spiritual Formation in this Generation

Philosophy is focusing on the answers to the why questions. What are the reasons we’ve got into Family Ministry in the first place.
Philos – LOVE  ||  Sophia – WISDOM

Philosophy is the love of wisdom. Let’s be in love with the why of what we do, not the what of what we do.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever! (Psalm 111:10 ESV)

1. Family is Primary // God’s Design for faith replication is through the context of the family (Deut. 6; Ps. 78) while the church plays a supportive/equipping role to this endeavor (Eph. 4:12).
2. Spiritual Formation // Formational approach… not just information. Lifelong transformation is the goal. Spiritual formation is about helping kids build a life-long relationship with God.

This means giving them a strong foundation in biblical knowledge and being intentional about creating space for kids to encounter the living God. Through the process of spiritual formation, we desire children to open their hearts to God, learn to discern His voice, have a desire to obey Him, and to do so in the power the Holy Spirit offers to each believer.

3. Holy Spirit is the Teacher // We recognize that the Holy Spirit is the primary teacher of our children. Parents and leaders have the opportunity to create “environments” where the Holy Spirit is free to move, teach, and lead. They have the privilege of “coming alongside” what the Holy Spirit is doing in the life of a child

Create worship response stations and give kids open-ended questions that spur their own heart.

4. Authority of Scripture // The Bible is God’s truth for daily living. God’s Word holds instruction for children to interpret their lives through the lens of God’s character and will. Are resources should be true to content and context and allow kids to investigate Scripture for themselves so they will feel confident to share His Word with others.

We want a generation that understands their Bible, and how it relates to their own lives. Helping kids learn through multiple forms of learning; auditory, tactile, etc…

5. The Big God Story // Unpacking God’s Word as one chronological storyline where relationship and redemption are at the center. Tying OT to the NT. We define the “The Big God Story” as God’s ENTIRE story. It incorporates all of history, stretching from Genesis to Revelation and beyond. In the past, Christian instruction has often told fragmented stories of God, Jesus, or other people in the Bible, as if they were not part of a greater narrative.

We define the “The Big God Story” as God’s ENTIRE story. It incorporates all of history, stretching from Genesis to Revelation and beyond. In the past, Christian instruction has often told fragmented stories of God, Jesus, or other people in the Bible, as if they were not part of a greater narrative

6. God-Centered // Because it is one story about God’s love and redemption, we make God the main focus of every lesson and resource! Each lesson is titled by something we know about God from a specific Bible passage. The emphasis is on God, not the supporting cast in the story (ex. “God Is Victorious” vs. David and Goliath).

Understanding what we know about God by the way He has worked in the lives of people and circumstances in the Bible is formational in our lives today.

7. Ministry Support // Partner with the local church to Inspire, Equip, and Support with resources for home and church. Stay in Conversations about what we do that brings us into community across the world.

The Power Behind the Story & Storytellers

How we teach and explain the Gospel is really just a story.

Believing in the details of the Gospel isn’t enough. We aren’t selling the Gospel, we’re are telling a story of the Gospel and inviting others into this story. It’s not a speech to memorize, it’s a life we live.

There is an ‘upper story’ that is bigger than the everyday story we see.

John 16:5 “I am going to Him who sent me….but the truth is its better that I go. Another is coming!”

We were never intended to tell the story of the Gospel without the Holy Spirit leading us. NEVER. The spirit of Truth guides us.

Holy Spirit would bring all things together. He is a unifier. Yet we oftentimes stand in opposition to the Holy Spirits purpose. We have to unify ourselves.

“The Church moved into the Entertainment sector, and away from the Holy Spirits leading. Most of our churches can be explained away without ever mentioning the power of the Holy Spirit.” Francis Chan ‘Forgotten God’

We are charged to look different than our sinful culture. Do we?

The trail of following the Holy Spirit will take us somewhere we’ve never been, and it will force into a level of dependence we’ve never been in before.

It’s time to ask our kids to do more than just ‘try harder’, we’ve got to let Christ be formed inside them.

NOTE: Much of this session is covered in much greater detail in Michelle’s new book, Dreaming for More for the Next Generation.

Dr. Michelle Anthony is the Family Ministry Architect at David C Cook. Michelle is the author of The Big God Story, Spiritual Parenting book and DVD curriculum, the co-author of A Theology of Family Ministry. She has over 20 years of practical church ministry/leadership experience as a Children’s and Family Pastor and is currently serving as an Ambassador for ROCKHARBOR church.

@truinspiration || www.michelleanthony.org

The Gospel and the Redemptive Story || Mark 5

Jesus casts demon out of man. Jesus was able to give the man some dignity.

Jesus healing the blind man. Everyone begins to seek out Christ to see what this is all about. Father of a sick daughter begs Jesus to come and heal his family. Jesus goes.  On the way… Mark 5:24 || Woman seeks out and touches Jesus’ cloak. She is healed. Jesus knows it immediately. He calls for the woman, and she trembling with fear tells him the whole truth.

Jesus calls her “Daughter” , thereby staking a claim to her as part of his family.

In the midst of all of this is the father, trying to get Jesus to his daughter. Then someone says, “Your daughter is dead. It’s too late.”

Vs36. “Don’t be afraid, just believe.”

Jesus brings Peter, James, and John along to the daughters room. Jesus claims she sleeping, and the crowd laughs at him. He sends them away and in front of her family calls her awake, and she comes alive. He tells the parents to feed her.  Then Jesus distances from the whole thing, and asks that they don’t tell anyone about her healing. Jesus cared for her future, didn’t want her to take the label of to be “used to be dead.”

One chapter of the whole Gospel. Just one. In one day, Jesus forever altars the future lives of the demoniac, women with blood disease, and family of dead little girl.

It continues and continues and continues. The Gospel spreading through the actions of Christ. Redemption happens, the Gospel grows.

When the Gospel happens, the stories continue

The Holy Spirit is the one leading now. Would we even know it if the Holy Spirit left our ministries? Do we let Holy Spirit lead?

May we just ask the God leads us. Let him use our gifts to further the Gospel.

Chris Brown is a Senior Pastor and a Teaching Pastor at North Coast Church in Vista, CA, and co-teaches at Bethel Seminary. Chris loves bringing the Bible to life with his gifts as a communicator and storyteller, but most evident in his teaching is his passion for sharing a real and authentic journey with Jesus.

A CONFERENCE FOR:

• SENIOR PASTORS

• CHILDREN’S AND FAMILY MINISTRY PASTORS

• CHILDREN’S AND FAMILY MINISTRY DIRECTORS

• VOLUNTEERS

The Gathering is the premiere event focusing on spiritual formation and family ministry. With limited seating to allow for great conversations, you won’t want to miss this exciting opportunity to network and collaborate with other ministry leaders and gain practical insights for your church.

The Gathering is a chance to be collaborative, focused on philosophy with experiential learning opportunities, hearing from professional ministry leaders in the area of family ministry and spiritual formation, while being invited into a transformative ministry time to spiritually nourish the leaders who attend. This is a fresh opportunity to experience ministry and not just talk about it, while being refreshed for the next season ahead.

This morning I’m getting on a plane so I can go wait at another airport for 3 hours to then get on another plane and then eventually find myself at “The Gathering.”  The Gathering is a special collection of family ministry leaders from around the country.  David C. Cook explains it this way:

The Gathering exists for the purpose of inspiring, equipping, and supporting the faith community in order that they may become awakened to their role as ambassadors of God, His kingdom movement, and spiritual formation through family ministry within the local church.

I’m excited about being there for a bunch of reasons, but I’ve been narrowed it down to really just ONE thing.  I don’t know anyone teaching, speaking, or leading there. When I was invited to participate, and was having to decide (along with my family) if this was something worthy of me being away; the really big draw was the opportunity to hear some voices I’m not familiar with.

It’s important to note that I do NOT work for a curriculum provider.  I’m NOT in the “business” of church ministry, and I’m NOT selling anything.  Sure, I have my favorites and I have the resources I use at my church.  But at heart, I’m a man that has a burden for the Next Generations in my local church.  The Gathering is about tapping into that passion I have, and helping me lead better from where I am.  I’m looking forward to a week that helps me increase my leadership to families in a new way.

I’ll be blogging a bunch here over the next few days, so stay tuned for some new fresh voices for you as well.  Maybe you’ll hear something you’ve never heard before, and most likely it comes from somebody you’ve never heard of.

Source: TheSimpleDollar.com

This weeks giveaway is Roger Fields new book, Jumping the Track.  It’s the story of how an obscure pastor created a national production that reaches tens of thousands.  Beyond goal-setting, this is a first person account of the courage to abruptly change life’s direction multiple times. It chronicles Roger Fields’ unique journey with the ups and downs of doing things in an unconventional way.

This book will walk you through all sorts of crazy and great things, for example:

• Abandon long-term goal setting
• How abrupt changes can energize your life
• Are you letting grasshopper brain paralyze your progress?
• The secret of the Tishbite
• Failure: Why you need it and how it will help you
• 5 tracks you can jump
• Coon hunting in Kansas
• and the Kidz Blitz story!

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Friday Morning we heard from Andy Stanley on that “One Thing” we should be communicating to our church staff. As a leader of staff, I’ve listened to Andy teach on this for years. To say a message like this resonates with me, is a egregious understatement. Love, love, love this truth dedicated to the leaders of our church.

Not So Among You

One Thing that drives healthy staff culture. // and it works in Your family too.

Mark 10:32-37, 41 // Jesus is asked by the disciples for more favor.

42-43 || not so with you.  //  Whoever wants to be great (and it’s ok to want to be great), must become a servant and slave of all.

45 || Even the son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Healthy and Productive staff cultures are defined by Mutual Submission.

Mutual Submission: I’m here to facilitate your success wherever you and I are on the org chart. Our jobs are different, but we are both essential to the success of the organization.

• Everyone is equally essential.

The question mutual submission asks: “How can I help?”

Problematic:

• The lie of “Annointing”
• The triangle setup on org chart will never see Mutual Submission.

Our leadership style is dictated by this : Even the son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many. 

Anointing is not emphasized in NT, it’s all service and serving.

Are the reserved parking spots necessary, really?

• Do for one what you wish you could do for anyone.
• The myth that if we do for one we have to do everyone. We don’t!
• Jesus often only healed the one out of a crowd of many.

• Systematic top-down method of service.
• How can I leverage what I’m good at to facilitate the success of others?

• Create and maintain a sustainable pace.
• Lack of sustainable pace kills service for others.

• Celebrate and reward mutual submission.
• Look for ways to foster this on your team.
• What’s rewarded is repeated.
• What’s punished is avoided.

• Confront your EGO.
• If you view your staff as only being there to facilitate your success.
• If your gonna lead this way, then at least admit it to them.

• Drop the term loyalty from your vocabulary.
• Not a fruit of the spirit.
• Anyone who demands loyalty, has a loyalty problem.
• Jesus just says, “Follow me.” yet always reminded people they could leave when they wanted.

How can I help?

Inviting yourself into their world instead of asking them to serve your world. 

How I react to this glorification determines the path I’ll be on.

God looks at Eternity and asked, “How can I help?”

 

This morning for the Orange Conference Opening Thursday session, we were able to hear from Craig Groeschel about parenting.  For most of us in Children’s ministry or parenting, we are all very familiar with the idea behind Deuteronomy 6.  What made Craigs talk so unique is that he shared his own personal family values and things he does as a father to raise his kids to be game changers.  It was a really, really great call to action for all the parents in the room.

So even to old age and gray hairs,

O God, do not forsake me,

until I proclaim your might to another generation,

your power to all those to come. (Psalm 71:18 ESV)

What is parenting success?

THE GOAL:

Unleash single-minded, Christ-centered, biblically-anchored, world changing children.

Deut. 6:4-9 – Moses’ call to parents.

1. Must enlist supporting voices. || 

• Parents will always be the most important voice, but cannot be the only voice.
• Paul was a supporting voice for Timothy.
• One of most important things we can do is build up leaders to impart to others.

1. Raise the expectations. ||

• Calling is radical and supernatural.
• ALL our heart, soul, strength.
• We will rarely ever get more than we ask for, unless we raise the expectations.
• 1 Cor 13:11 / when I became a man, I left childish things behind.

1. Keep it Real. ||

• Make God commonplace in our homes.
• Pray for things beyond our own home.
• God is not “a part” of our lives. He is our everything.