I believe the real horror of Nursery Ministry is when leaders fail to teach to the level of learning of their kids.  When we start to define success for our leaders, set realistic expectations, get to know our kids, and submit our needs to prayer we can begin to lead in new and creative ways.  I’ve found the following materials as it relates to development of kids and I’d like to share!

What should I expect both developmentally and spiritually?  

Speaking directly about those kids between four years old and six, I’ve found the following information.

Developmentally // Three to Six

Spiritually

Three to Seven Years // Experiencing Faith

Children typically act with “experienced faith.” Children respond to actions of parents and adults, while learning to initiate their own actions. They explore and test, imagine and create, observe and copy, experience and react.

Ministry Implications:

• Continue activities begun in infancy, but with increasing involvement of the children.
• Add to reading and playing, Bible stories with exciting narration, and encourage active use of the imagination on the part of the children.
• Involve the children in creative telling and dramatizing of Bible stories.
• Encourage children to ask questions about the Bible reading, and imagine what Biblical characters might say if they could be there.
• Provide a worship readiness opportunity to help children understand what it means to worship and why the church participates in the various aspects of the worship service.

I believe the real horror of Nursery Ministry is when leaders fail to teach to the level of learning of their kids.  When we start to define success for our leaders, set realistic expectations, get to know our kids, and submit our needs to prayer we can begin to lead in new and creative ways.  I’ve found the following materials as it relates to development of kids and I’d like to share!

What should I expect both developmentally and spiritually?  

Speaking directly about those kids between one years old and three, I’ve found the following information.

Developmentally // One – Three

Spiritually

Infancy – 3 Years // Sensing Security

The greatest need is to feel that the world is a safe place and that the people in it are dependable.  The sense of security and trust usually comes from the family and provides a foundation for children to trust God.  The primary learning tool is mimicking.

Ministry Implications:

• Talk, Read, play, sing, and pray with children
• Involve children in activities with other children and adults.
• Begin family faith traditions and holiday rituals.
• Provide parenting classes and support groups for parents
• Baby Dedications or baptism ceremonies.

One of the very first steps to setting up our Early Childhood environments for a win is to set realistic expectations.  I’m talking about expectations that set us up to win and to keep on winning and keep on winning and keep on winning.  The issue is that these wins have to be defined by each leader on a unique level, and have to be defined for each church based on the win for that body of Christ in that location.

I’ve defined 3 “Next Steps” for helping us define the win where we are.  These things have to be done for us to begin to attempt being successful for Nursery and Preschool children and their families.

1. Know Your Kids.  Really, really, really know the kids you teach and lead.  Do we know their families?  Do we know their siblings?  Do we know what could be happening in their lives away from church?

It’s a gigantic cop-out to say that our churches are too busy or too large to find these things out.  Each kid has a unique story, and if we take the time to find it out we can then take our ministry to a new level.

What does this look like? It looks like teachers praying for parents in the hallways, and fathers that don’t attend church coming for the first time.  It looks like teachers knowing the birthdays of their kids and kids celebrating the uniqueness of their teachers with gifts and hugs.   

 2. Learn what’s developmentally normal.  Take the time to make your leaders as educated as possible on age appropriateness.  There are books, blogs, and information galore on this topic.  Why not take the time to put it all out there when you do teacher training?  Why not add some notes and helpful hints along the way for your leaders?  Why not use these?

3. Pray.  Let me guess.  You forget this one sometimes, right?  Let the Holy Spirit lead, in spite of what your developmentally or cognitively know about your class.  The Lord desires to have your true leading from Him.  Make prayer a priority for your class and classroom leaders.

Acts 19:20 So the word of the Lord continued to increase and prevail mightily.

I’ve seen the real horror of Early Childhood and Nursery ministry.  It’s NOT the one person in a room of 20 kids under 18 months old all by themselves.  It’s NOT the parent that insist that we not call her out of service when her kid throws chairs across the classroom.  It’s NOT even the kid that comes to church and prays for Jesus to protect them from the crocodiles (whatever that means…)

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen happen, that you can laugh about now?

I’ve found that the real Horror Story happens when classroom leaders fail to teach up or down to the level of learning of their kids.  It’s a horrible tragedy when leaders of 4 year olds treat their class like 14 year olds and grow exasperated when they won’t sit down for her lecture.  It’s a tragedy when the 2 year old leader doesn’t take the time to illustrate biblical truths to her kids in an environment ripe for learning.

I’ve just about seen it all, but these above scenarios are what keep me up at night.  When these things happen the kids don’t absorb the truth of God’s Word like they are created to, and those leaders grow frustrated and anxious about the job they are failing at.  It’s time that us in the leadership of our churches begin to train, teach and lead in a way that sets everyone up for success.

1. First, we’ve got to set realistic expectations.  Don’t every place a leader in a room with an age of kids, without first explaining what that age of kid can and cannot do.  Not doing this is like throwing someone the keys to your stick shift car and expecting them to know how to drive without having every driven a stick shirt before.

2. Second, you’ve got to give your leaders the information.  Tell them what’s the what about the age of kids they have.

3.  Third, and finally; you’ve got to define the win for your Early Childhood leaders.  There may be no easier win in your entire Children’s Ministry, but also be the hardest to define.  Tell your leaders how they know they’ve done the 4 year old class right.

Proverbs 2:6  For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding

Let’s talk about making that real lasting investment in our communities, and making it outside of our church.  (Catch-up with the introduction HERE.)  I love MY church, THE church, and the calling of the church.  However, sincerely believing that doesn’t mean that the Church Can Do Everything, and it Helps to Make our Message Real.  The other great side-effect of serving in an uncomfortable place is it Forces us as Leaders to Grow.

When we take ourselves of the comfort our churches afford us, we begin to see all kinds of discipleship happen in our own lives.  I know what your thinking… “Where are you getting this churches lead to comfort talk?”

I believe that when all our interaction with people is within the confines of our Christian environments, that we become separate from the real lives of so many around us.  We actually begin to exists in environments we can explicitly control, and when we control the environment of our interactions we can easily grow comfortable.  When we step outside of those things we can control, then we are forced to be hands and feet for a gospel message to those that need it the most.

It’s time that we make personal growth and discipleship a priority, and just as we encourage people to serve in our areas of ministry; we need to back it up with our own service in their lives.  Don’t believe the myth that all your personal growth will happen within the context of your local church.  You can and will grow as a leader and a believer by taking the reality of the gospel outside your church walls and into your community.

Let’s talk about making that real lasting investment in our communities, and making it outside of our church.  (Catch-up with the introduction HERE.)  I love MY church, THE church, and the calling of the church.  However, sincerely believing that doesn’t mean that the Church Can Do Everything, and it doesn’t end there.  One of the most important benefits to us as leaders to serve outside of our churches, is it Helps to Make our Message Real.

This week we are talking about making that real lasting investment in our communities, and making it outside of our church.  (Catch-up with the introduction HERE.)  I love MY church, THE church, and the calling of the church.  However, sincerely believing that doesn’t mean that the Church Can Do Everything.

I believe that it was never the intention of the local church to replace individual outreach.  It’s not the church’s job to reach out to my next door neighbor, or coach my kids baseball team, or volunteer at the public school in my community, or share Christ with the hurting world I interact with everyday.  As Christians, it is our duty to bring life change to wherever we are living.

The purpose of the church is more of a launching pad.  There is no doubt that we can create some effective outreach from within the walls of our church community, and I’ve seen great churches make an impact in their communities as a whole.  But, isn’t church also to be the place that we launch people out into the world?  Isn’t the local church meant to encourage those in attendance to live a life that brings glory to God and therefore spread the Gospel the world over?

Those of us working in churches, are often the last ones to get this message.  We spend 50+ hours a week creating amazing experiences for the families that attend our church (and we should), but many of us spend rarely an hour a year investing in our community without our church name badge on.  Why?  This has got to change if we are truly to be leaders at taking the Gospel to a hurting world.

Let us force the community of believers we serve with to see Christianity as permeating our everyday life.  Let’s bring light to our hurting communities, and in the process bring the light to our own churches.  I’ve never once served in my community, and NOT seen my church get the attention in some way.

Many of us have personal passions that we are dreaming of fulfilling, and fell restricted by our local church.  Let this not be.  It’s my prayer that you find the solution to carry on the mission of your calling both inside your church walls and outside them as well.

I’ve been in a struggle.  This week, I’d like to take you on a journey my family and I have been on for the past couple of years.

I serve in a local church.  I love the local church, and I fully support the mission my church lives to fulfill.  However, how do we take this great message of hope and salvation, and move it outside of our church walls? And more specifically, how do we do it as a family outside of our homes? I’d like to evaluate the different reasons that Church leaders should be investing in their communities on an individual level.

Before talking about any of this, I believe it’s important to talk about what the church is.  For me, I sincerely believe that:

• The Church is the vehicle that takes God’s plan for salvation to the world at-large.
• The Church is the greatest organization to bring about true life-giving relationships in the world.
• The Church should be the greatest collective effort of believers to reach the community in which it resides.
• The Church is strong relevant, and growing!

 Why be involved in your local community, when your church does so much already?

This Sunday, January 22nd churches all over the country will be observing Sanctity of Human Life Sunday.  It’s not an arguement, it’s not taking stand against anything, it’s not picking a fight; it’s about mirroring God’s heart towards all life.  He chooses life, and so do we as believers.

To those struggling with the choice of what to do with their unexpected, unborn children…we offer them hope and ask them to choose life.

To those struggling with the consequences of their past decisions to have an abortion…we offer them hope and ask them to now choose their best life in Christ.

In the midst of all these conversations this time of year, I found this video and think it illustrates exactly the response that believers should have for life.  The 3 most dangerous words in the world, “It’s a Girl.”

I’ve had the opportunity in the past two years to visit many other churches and see and hear how they are doing ministry in their local church family.  Along with those opportunities, I’ve had the privilege to sit and talk with many children and student leaders on a local church level about the things they are doing (attempting) in their churches.  In all of the conversations, I can’t help but filter all that I see and hear through the lens of what I am involved with here at my church home.  That has helped me be a better leader.

When processing, listening, observing, and critiquing what others are doing; I’m really setting myself up to view my own space in a new way.  I’m using new eyes to look at what have become old things.

Here are the things I’m learning through the process:

• I’m so much more blessed to be where I am than I give myself credit for.  There ain’t nothin’ like eating some of that grass on the other side of the fence to know how good your own grass is!

•  Everything is a season.  When I talk to people on either side of where I’m currently working, I can see the story being weaved where I am.  I’ve been where some people are, and I’m looking forward to being where other people are now!

•  Things need to change.  There are times that I hear and see what others are doing, and immediately know that I need to get our team to play catch-up real, real, real quick.  You may call it inspiration, I call it conviction.

• I need to champion my team more.  Spending time with other leaders (and no offense, please) makes me appreciate the team I work with.  I work with some real all-stars, and hearing from others always help me see that.  Then I need to bring that gratefulness home and share it!

•  It feels good to share.  I love sharing what I’ve done and am doing, and I’m so grateful that others are willing to share with me where they are.  I always walk away from conversations with other leaders encouraged .

What in your area do you need to look at with some new eyes?  Are there things you read online that help you to see the old as if it were new again?  What is your conviction…or inspiration to change?

I had such a blast at my first Children’s Pastor Conference, and was able to meet many of you that participate here at the website.  What a great few days in the warm weather of Central Florida, enjoying meeting old friends and making new ones.  Some of my favorite highlights from the weekend were getting to hear Reggie Joiner continue to share his passion for families and hearing Beth Guckenberger speak about God writing the story in all our our lives.

If you missed it, then you can still attend in San Diego in February.  Make some plans now to attend!

You know the whole “glass half full vs. glass half empty” debate?  Personally, I fall somewhere in the middle with my personality type.  I’m one more prone to ask who drank half my glass of water.

Well in leadership it’s important that we be positive people, looking for the good in others and affirming their steps towards improvement.  However, there is a time to be negative.  There is a time to shine the light in dark places.  There is a time and place to be critical.  If we guard against becoming critical in all our interactions, we can actually use Negativity to our advantage.

How Negativity Can Help a Leader

• The things that bother you, probably bother others as well.  That sign that is always crooked and covered with fingerprints?  If it bugs you, I can guarantee you that it bugs someone else.

• If you aren’t finding negative things in what you do at times, then you’re not doing it right.  We all make mistakes.  We all do things wrong.  We all have room for improvement.  If you evaluate yourself and can find nothing worth improving…there is something wrong with you!

• Negativity helps you to answer the question, “What is the worst that can happen?”  I believe we should be able to answer this question at all times.  Have you thought out the worst-case scenario?  Have you planned for a quick recovery if things don’t go your way?

• Critical eyes bring improvement.  While we are careful to not let our criticism become a nag to those we lead, we also want our criticism to bring about real change.  Let yourself see things for how they really are.

Proverbs 27:5-6 ESV / Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

I’ll be heading to Orlando, FL this week to make my very first visit to THE Children’s Pastor Conference.  I’ve never made it to this gathering of Kidmin leaders, and I’m looking forward to so much as I escape the relatively cold climate of West Texas in January for the relatively warm climate of Florida!

What I’m looking forward to:

• My friends are gonna be there.  The short ones, tall ones, smart ones, curious ones, and even Matt McKee.  Seriously, I love anything that incorporates the leadership of Sam Luce, Jim Wideman, Craig Jutila, Gina McClain, and so many others.

• Experiencing some of Michael Chanley’s new ideas.  Michael is the newest Executive Director of INCM, and I know that he brings a ton of connecting ability to the organization and conference.  I’m super-excited to see all he’s told me about played out for everyone to experience.

• The 5 Initiatives.  What are the 5 Initiatives?

1. Impart God’s truth to this generation
2. Provide a safe and relevant environment
3. Communicate with families
4. Network with a community of leaders
5. Pray for the international children’s ministry community

Years ago I managed an IT department on a university campus, and every conversation we had with end-users (those are the ones with problems) began something like this, “Have you rebooted your machine?”  I swear back in the 90′s this would fix 90% of the problems on a Windows 95 machine.

January is official reboot your life month, right?  You might prefer the word resolutions, quick-fixes, or get better ideas for 2012.  I personally like the idea of rebooting things. Well at this time of year, let me ask you…

“Have you rebooted your resolutions and goals this year?”

Here are 5 ways to take the time to push the reboot button on 2011, and amp up for 2012.

1. Quit pretending everything went perfect in 2011.  What went wrong?  Define it, meditate on it, look into why it didn’t go your way in these areas, and then bury it.

2. Quit pretending everything was terrible in 2011.  What went right?  Some of you might have to look hard, but I can guarantee you that you’ve done something noble and honorable this year.  Define it, meditate on it, look into why it went your way, and then bury it.

3. What challenged you this year?  Notice I used the word “challenge”, not the word “troubled.”  What was hard for you to do this year?  Why was it harder than you thought?

4. What do you want to do this year?  <Insert Dream Here>

5. Pray.  Work through these top 4 and then pray.  But why pray?  Well the Bible tells us so!

Psalm 107:28-30 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven

Matthew 7:7  ”Ask, and it will be given to you seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Matthew 21:22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

Mark 9:29  And he said to them, “This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.”

Mark 11:24  Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

John 14:13-14 Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it

Acts 9:40 But Peter put them all outside, and knelt down and prayed; and turning to the body he said, “Tabitha, arise.” And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter she sat up.

Ephesians 6:18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

James 5:14-16 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another,that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Every year I post a top 10 list, based on traffic that came to the website over a 12 month period.  You can go read that top 10 list if you’d like, but today I wanted to share a top list of my own personal favorites.

My favorites from this year, and in no particular order:

Small Group Leading Tips // The best post content-wise my website has ever seen, and it came courtesy of the 3rd grade boys small group leader at our church.  I also sleep with her and have fathered her three children.  She is my wife.

I Hate Sam Luce // When detailing all the reasons I really hate Sam, I also added a dumb little image of him with horns.  The best part of the posts, was the lady that came up to me at the Kidmin Conference in Chicago and said, “I just can’t see Sam without seeing those horns you added to his picture!”  Greatest thing ever.

Wanna know what my family did this year?  Check out any of these post.

Doing Hard Things and you can see a sermon I gave this year on the topic as well.

On Being a Foster Parent (another guest post from Starr)

Certainty is Overrated

I personally loved writing about Navigating Staff Relationships.  It’s been a big part of my church-life this year, and something I’m still learning to be better at.  Here are the post related  to this series:

What do you Want?

Time to Move

Practice Accountability

Assume the Best

And finally, one of the most exciting things I did this year on the blog was the video interview with David Platt.  I was totally blown away by his presentation at the D6 Conference in September, and was privileged to talk with him some more afterwards about parenting, life, and ministering to our families.

My interview with Pastor David Platt from the Church at Brook Hills in Birmingham, AL and the author of “Radical: Taking back our faith from the American Dream.”

Would it be too presumption to ask?  What was a post you loved this year?  Not just on this blog, but anywhere.